Motherhood: My Only Gems

“She came tonight as I sat alone, the girl I used to be…
And she gazed at me with her earnest eye and questioned reproachfully;

Have you forgotten the many plans and hopes that I had for you?
The career, the splendid fame, and all the wonderful things to do?
Where is the mansion of stately height with all of its gardens rare?
The silken robes that I dreamed for you and the jewels in your hair?

And as she spoke, I was very sad for I wanted her please with me…
This slender girl from the shadowy past the girl that I used to be
So gently rising, I took her hand, and guided her up the stair
Where peacefully sleeping, my babies lay innocent, sweet, and fair.

And I told her that these are my only gems, and precious they are to me;
That silken robe is my motherhood of costly simplicity.
And my mansion of stately height is love, and the only career I know
Is serving each day in these sheltered walls for the dear ones who come and go.

And as I spoke to my shadowy guest, she smiled through her tears at me.
And I saw that the woman that I am now, pleased the girl I used to be.

- Author Unknown
Quoted in Womanly Dominion by Mark Chanski

I often look back on my days as a new Christian. 16 years old and passionate to make a difference for Christ. Enjoyed dedicating a large amount of time to studying His word and in prayer. Sometimes I begin to mourn my life now. If my experience as a young woman was really living the Christian life, then I've definitely hit a low point. Rachel Yankovic rebukes me in her book Loving the Little Years

"The truth is my Christian life then was a like a rock being refined by a slow river in a quiet place. . . God took me out of that life and threw me into the rock tumbler. Here it is not so easy to feel godly, because we spend our days crashing into each other and actually getting our problems addressed. Here there is very little time for quiet reflection. I do a lot of on-the -job failure and correction...The opportunities for growth and refinement abound here -- but you have to be willing. You have to open your heart to the tumble. As you deal with your children deal with yourself always and first. This is what it looks like and feels like to walk with God, as a mother."

My life certainly looks different than I imagined it. But what I didn't understand then is that this small, simple life is rich with blessings and the nearness of God.

"A person can show his religion as much in measuring onions as he can in singing Glory! Hallelujah!"